confused about starting mysql5 after installation

[David Stein]

I'm on 10.4 and installed the "server" variant of mysql5.  I don't
want mysql5 to start when my system boots, so I did *not* run this
command:

sudo launchctl load -w /Library/LaunchDaemons/org.macports.mysql5.plist

I then ran:

sudo -u mysql mysql_install_db5
sudo /opt/local/lib/mysql5/bin/mysql_secure_installation

I'm puzzled where to go next.  I followed these instructions:

You can start the MySQL daemon with:
cd /opt/local ; /opt/local/lib/mysql5/bin/mysqld_safe &

You can test the MySQL daemon with mysql-test-run.pl
cd mysql-test ; perl mysql-test-run.pl

... however, I had no luck.  "mysql-test" doesn't exist in /opt/local.
 "mysqld_safe &" appears to have succeeded, but I can't connect with
the mysql command line app:

$ mysql
ERROR 2002 (HY000): Can't connect to local MySQL server through socket
'/tmp/mysql.sock' (2)

Any ideas?  Are there simple start & stop scripts around?

David